Mental Health
“Starting a new job in midlife cured my loneliness”
Thelma Mensah reveals how starting a new job in retail at the age of 52 had unexpected benefits…
Being my own boss is amazing. I set the rules and decide when I work, without having to answer to anyone.
What is less talked about, however, is that it can also be incredibly lonely. I saw a meme the other day of a self-employed businessman enjoying an office drink by himself at a bar and chuckled to myself. It certainly struck a chord, being a sole trader.
As it turns out, loneliness in midlife is way more common than we may realise. Research from the Office for National Statistics says that one in seven people aged between 45 and 54 experience feeling lonely, with women tending to report higher levels than men.
Having relationships and connections is often overlooked in the wellness world, with emphasis given to movement, healthy eating and getting a good night’s sleep. But loneliness can increase our risk of depression and anxiety, which, over time, can also chip away at our self-esteem and confidence.
A new chapter
Feeling lonely was a big push for me wanting to get another job alongside my business. That being said, I was terrified of applying for something new.
But I soon became motivated to go for it after watching one of my favourite films, The Intern, starring Robert De Niro. He plays a retiree who applies for a job to be an intern at a young start-up company. It’s a must-watch for anyone starting a new venture in midlife!
I worked with a coach at my local learning centre who helped to re-do my CV. With this, I ended up interviewing for a role at a premium skin and lifestyle brand that I’ve loved for years. It went really well – so much so that I was offered the job!
Making new connections
The role was working for a newly-opened store (and with a brand new team), meaning we were all in the same boat. I can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that it’s one of the best things I’ve done. I have the best colleagues and my boss, a midlife woman, is phenomenal.
The rest of my team are in their twenties and are like the little sisters I never had. They are funny, intelligent and (more importantly) they laugh at my sense of humour. They also offer me a different perspective and great advice when it comes to navigating my relationship with my teenage daughter.
The other fantastic thing about the role is the customers that I meet on a day-to-day basis. The stories I hear; from the man that started as humble carpet layer that’s now fitting out super yachts to the teens that come in wanting products loved by their favourite TikTok influencer. It’s all so fascinating to me and ever so rewarding.
I now look forward to waking up and going to work. There is no doubt in my mind that, when it comes to wellbeing, connection is king. My new role has really given me a sense of worth.
My advice for anyone contemplating a new role is to not let doubt (or age!) hold you back. Get out there and start meeting people – you never know where it will take you and, more importantly, how good you will feel.
Want a new job in midlife? Follow these confidence-boosting steps…
Get some support
It’s natural to feel anxious about applying for a new role – especially if we’ve been out of work for some time, or been at the same company for years.
Career coaches can help to provide some much-needed support, whether it’s refreshing a CV or practising interview skills. Having someone guide us through the process can provide a helpful confidence boost.
Think about what you enjoy
One of the benefits of midlife is that we know ourselves so much better than we did in our younger years. Before applying to anything, consider what sort of role you’d like to have – from the field of work, to the amount of hours you’d be willing to commit to.
Practice, practice, practice
A quick Google search can reveal the typical questions we might expect to be asked in an interview. Practice and hone your responses so that you come across as confident as possible on the day.
Treat each interview as a learning opportunity
Even on those occasions where we didn’t get the role we wanted, we can use it as a learning opportunity. Asking the interviewer for feedback on our application can help us know where we can improve for next time.
Words: Thelma Mensah
