Lifestyle
“I met with a Buddhist nun to cure my burnout – here’s what happened”
In search of new ideas on how to de-stress, Tim Samuels heads to the Four Seasons Bali at Sayan – and encounters monkish wisdom and the power of a ‘sacred nap’.
I’m lying stretched out in a yellow silk hammock, gently swaying in the jungle breeze, while a former monk circles me. She softly chants Buddha’s life story and rhythmically plays a Tibetan singing bowl.
I’m surrendering to a deeper and deeper sleep. I’m having what’s known as a ‘sacred nap’, embracing the Balinese way of truly letting go.
It’s a mission that’s brought me to the uplands of Bali where the Four Seasons Resort at Sayan nestles in lush rainforest. What’s led me to this Indonesian island – and down the Ayung River – is feeling burnt out; an ever-present daily exhaustion, where incessant over-thinking makes everything a chore – and very little a pleasure.
I wanted to reset. And to learn from a culture that’s not driven by the Western neuroses: that constant focus on individual achievement and ever-shifting targets, which create the perfect conditions for burnout.
And, so, I jumped (or rather, lumbered, given the exhaustion) at the opportunity to visit the revitalised Sacred River Spa at Sayan. To make my first trip to Bali.
Arriving in Bali
I flew, via Dubai, to the island’s capital Denpasar – and first eased into Balinese life at the Four Seasons at Jimbaran Bay.
Tucked away in a discreet bay, less than 20 minutes from the airport, it was a chance drink in the peace of the Indian Ocean from the deck of an exquisite villa, take long walks down the beach, explore local markets, and savour the fresh spices that bring the local dishes to such aromatic life. After three nights of Balinisation, I was ready to take unplugging to the next level.
Discovering the Four Seasons Bali at Sayan
That sense of washing away stress begins before you’ve even checked in at Sayan resort.
To reach the hotel, you paddle on a raft down a river that sweeps through the jungle; a 90-minute ride past sunbathing monitor lizards and howling monkeys. At the other end, set among stepped rice fields, lies the stunning edifice of the resort’s main building – shaped like a giant rice bowl, with an aerial walkway that peers right into the verdant treetops.
It’s arguably the most serene – and stunning – resort I’ve every stayed in, replete with wood-carved villas backing onto the jungle vista (there’s nothing quite as invigorating as an outdoor shower during a tropical downpour of biblical proportions).
An understated luxury and impeccably-welcoming culture permeate the resort; but it was the promise of a deep Balinese-style reset that most enticed me.
Being in the present moment
“In the Balinese language they don’t really have a word for yesterday, today and tomorrow. It’s the same word,” said Luisa Anderson, who has overseen the refurbished spa. “And one of the things I’ve learned from them is they’re very, very good at just being now – being present with what’s happening in front of me. It’s such a gift.
“I think in general people are a lot calmer here – and much more flexible in their way of dealing with life.”
Luisa, a former nurse and social worker, has tried to permeate that spirit throughout Sayan – such as putting ceremonies at the heart of the Spa experience. For the melukat water blessings ritual – drawing off local reverence for the element – I was intensely massaged on a water bed, before being soothed by a multi-pronged Vichy shower (the human equivalent of going through a rather relaxing car wash). The restu bumi treatment – a spiritual cleansing rite – harnessed local herbs and gemstones for a massage, ending with a giant gong played at 432 Hz (to help reduce stress) while a vest of temple coins vibrate on your chest. All of which takes place in thatched villas surrounded by lotus ponds.
Also on offer are the likes of cycle rides through paddy fields, temple visits, riverside picnics, a sensational chef’s experience featuring exceptional Balinese dishes (some cooked inside bamboo tubes), and an array of classes; I took my first stab at anti-gravity yoga – succumbing to in essence being hoisted upside down in a giant nappy – giddily therapeutic.
Learning life wisdom
But while yoga, meditation and various treatments are familiar fare on wellbeing breaks, I can’t say there are many resorts with an on-site former nun.
With her shaved head and ready laugh, Ibu Fera exudes Dalai Lama-level impish energy. Her journey to Sayan has been circuitous: raised in Java, becoming engaged to an American, calling off the engagement, pawning the ring to fly to Burma – where she became a nun in Burma for seven years – before ending up in Bali as the resort’s Resident Wellness Mentor.
It’s Ibu Fera who performs the sacred nap – and is also available for general sessions around life wisdom. Sitting on the floor of a wooden meditation pavilion, I wanted her take on how to deal with recurring negative thoughts. She rocked back with a smile.
“First of all, we have to accept that we all have the seed of anxiety inside us. You just need a trigger so that this seed – this flame – of anxiety can burn. Accept that we have that tendency. Secondly, when it appears, recognise it right away,” she said.
Taking charge of our headspace
Having recognised a negative thought, we need to treat it as an intruder.
“You need to develop the courage to be responsible – like being a security guard,” says Ibu Fera. “Thinking to yourself ‘okay, welcome to my resort, what is your name, what is your intention?’. Otherwise, a negative emotion will pass through the gate without your knowing – and will create a lot of discomfort in your body, heart, and mind. It will proliferate.”
She mimics the intrusive thought. “’I’ve got past the security guard, made myself at home, and am having breakfast.’ It’s like, ‘good morning, how are you?, I’m going to come and sleep with you as well, and wake you up during the night. I’m going to steal your energy when you’re asleep.’”
We need, she says, to get into the mindset that these thoughts are just guests. Ultimately we’re in charge of who gets to reside in our headspace.
“Make sure you’re not losing your mind. You are the general manager of that resort. You know this guest will not stay forever. One day they will check out. Those who have a lot of money, they will stay here for one month. But sometimes they’re just for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and then they go home. This attitude shouldn’t leave you.”
Bringing Bali’s lessons home
Ibu Fera puts the question back at me: if you have a negative thought, what actions are you taking to show who’s in charge? I mentally run through all the things I don’t – but really ought – to do. To be less passive in the face in negativity.
As I stood to leave, she urged that even the smallest of daily actions can fortify the mental defences.
“I always emphasise to people to at least have three minutes alone. Just three minutes,” she said. “I’m not asking five minutes, three minutes. Stay with yourself, not with your phone, not with anything. It’s just you, your body, your spirit, your mind, your breath alone. Three minutes just breathing in – imagining this air of clarity and calmness entering your body. And breathing out, relax. Calm, relax. Because when you’re breathing out, it’s simply this act of love that allows your body and mind to relax.”
Since coming home, Ibu Fera’s words have really stuck with me – particularly that question of, what am I actively doing to boot out negative intruders?
Sayan really did the de-stressing trick. It’s hard to pinpoint what had most impact: the ceremonies, the monastic wisdom, the immersive return to nature. Or perhaps it’s what ancient Balinese philosophy refers to as niskala: unseen energy
Find out more about Four Seasons Resort Bali at Sayan
